I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
