You made me cry and you don't even care
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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