You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
