I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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