Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
ok first of all what the fuck
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
