yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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