in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
