Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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