Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
