As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
