im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Less talking, more tequila
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
