He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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