i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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