mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
