why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
