shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize