Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
