Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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