Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
