so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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