it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
