you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
