I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
