just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
