i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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