Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
