I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drunk is not a location!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
