I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
