her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found puke in my bra..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
