it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
