I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just google imaged poop.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
3 2 1 whiskey
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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