did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
