Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize