I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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