I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
