Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
