he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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