hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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