What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
