I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
