You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
