I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
