Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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