She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
