It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
