great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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