Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
