If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
COCAINE IS GR8
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
