We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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