He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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