I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
