i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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