one might say we're banned from that church
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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