dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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