nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize