Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
