i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
