lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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