it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize