It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
