R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
no, he came in my armpit
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
