i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
