So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
