you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
