Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
