She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize