kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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