He kissed a someone with a penis
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
