we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
